My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I need a beard to bite.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize