Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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