This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
