Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
