Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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