I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My ATM looks so different sober.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
