fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
