Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
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They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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