i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
