i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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