This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
