hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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