Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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