just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
