It's Friday. Sex?
well you can't waste a boner
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My bed smells like the plague
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
