Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
