hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
