going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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