thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He passed out mid-signature
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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