I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize