I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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