He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
