I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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