Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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