we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize