To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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