I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Can you bring me the toilet please
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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