I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
