Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
