What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
