smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
