Well apparently he's into motor boating.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
