Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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