He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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