saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
