Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
