if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
