and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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