I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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