She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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