Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize