: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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