found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
