i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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