i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
How's work?
Spinning.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
