I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
