you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
