dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
