i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i already hear my dad disowning me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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