is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
