Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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