My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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