When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
