i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
please don't ironically join a cult
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
