goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Shame - the story of my life.
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