that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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