we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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