Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish you could order shots online.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize