Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
