I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
