i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
