Your face is a jimmy john
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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