38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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