That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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